Rainbow's End Page 5

  “Got to run, girls. I’ll see you two at bingo. Save me a seat. Thanks for the cigar and eats.”

  “Thank you for the margarita, Burton. We always enjoy your company.”

  Burton packed up his cooler and made his way back up the walkway. Roz and I sat by the water for a few more minutes, enjoying the breeze and the sunset, and of course, the last of our cigars. Since Rainbow is well lighted at night, we like to walk to bingo. We left the house a little before 7:00 and stopped by Lois’s to see if she wanted to come along. She had left a note on her door saying she’d gone early. As Roz and I continued up Palm Street to the Recreation Center, she said, “Did you bring our extra cash, Joanie?”

  “Yes, I have about $50 in my fanny pack. That should be enough.”

  Besides the prizes you can win at bingo, which usually consists of coupons for the Country Store, free movie rentals, and sets of chili pepper tree lights, most of our crowd liked to place private bets on anything from how many times throughout the evening Herb would say, “Come on, people, let’s settle down” to who would get up to go to the bathroom first. We each usually put a dollar apiece on the table as soon as we all got settled. Coming up with things to bet on was getting increasingly more difficult, but our table group could be depended upon to think of something. We all thoroughly enjoyed placing our bets and then anxiously awaiting the outcomes. Roz actually won $12 one evening. She was on a roll.

  As we walked into the large room with its rows of banquet tables and chairs, we could smell the fresh coffee Herb had made. Sitting beside the large urn of coffee were pastries and several bottles of white wine. Even if we didn’t win at bingo, the evening’s refreshments looked and smelled heavenly. The room was packed and buzzing with conversation. Roz and I walked to our table; Lois, Burton, Beatrice, and Joe were already seated. Beatrice was sitting in her favorite seat, which faced out to the rest of the room, and Lois had settled in at the end of the table. Between the two of them, they had come up with four things to bet on for the evening, the first being who would win the first round. We all put our bets and money down and found our seats.

  “There’s Flo, just coming in the door. I’ll go invite her to sit with us. Joe, pull up another chair.”

  As I made my way up front to see if Flo would like to join our table, I couldn’t help but realize she sure looked different now that she had clothes on and no shower cap. What a stunning woman Flo Hammond was! I could easily see she had a very expensive knitted suit on and beautiful jewelry. Her necklace was a combination of black pearls and diamonds, and her earrings had solitaire diamonds in them that were bigger than most engagement rings. And speaking of rings! She had two diamond rings, one on each hand, that were so big they might hinder her ability to play bingo. As I got closer, I could now see that Flo had flawless skin. Her face was wrinkle-free and looked like porcelain. Her hair color looked like a very light shade of platinum with a few blonde highlights. It was cut in a “Sassoonian” geometric cut, which was very flattering. In the seconds I had to take in her appearance, I could tell she was in excellent physical shape and was around 5’5” tall. Everything about her said ‘I know I look great, so stare all you want. I love it!’ Seeing Flo made me wonder what Virgil Hammond did for a living that he could provide the kind of jewelry and clothes Flo was sporting. I approached Flo.

  “Flo, I don’t know if you remember me or not, but I’m Joanie, your neighbor.”

  “Joanie, yes, I’m sorry about yesterday and the poor first impression I must have given you and your sister— Roz, is it?”

  “Yes, Roz is my sister, and don’t worry about yesterday. We gave you no warning we were coming over. I’m so glad you were able to come to bingo tonight. I think you’ll enjoy playing and meeting new people.”

  “I definitely want to get to know more residents here in Rainbow’s End. I’m sure Virgil and I are going to love living here.”

  Flo and I made our way to our table. As we moved through the crowd, everyone did a double take as we walked by, and I’m sure they weren’t looking at me. By the time we got to our seats, Herb had asked everyone to settle down, so we didn’t get to talk to Flo for very long before he started calling numbers. Burton was beside himself trying to pay attention to the numbers called and stealing glances at Flo. I could tell he was checking out her flawless complexion and beautiful skin, something he prides himself in. I could also tell the rest of our table kept giving Flo sly glances. She was making quite a stir.

  “Roz, how much did you win tonight?” Bea asked as she peered over her readers.

  “Let’s see, I won two bingo pots, that’s about $50, and then two of our private bets at $6 each, so $62. Wow, not bad. I say we all go into Key West to The Hog’s Breath Saloon and the first round of drinks is on me.”

  “You’re on, Roz. When do we want to make a trip into Key West?” Joe asked.

  “I don’t think Joanie and I are free until Friday night. How does that sound to everyone?”

  “Count me out. I’m having dinner at The Boondocks on Friday night. I really enjoy the coffee there because of those cute, little bone china cream pitchers on every table…” Bea said with a twinkle in her eye.

  “How about you, Lois?” Joe asked.

  “Yes, I can go.”

  “Lois, you and the sisters live so close to each other, I’d be glad to pick you all up,” Joe said. “Burton, can you make it? I think I have room for the five of us.”

  “Sounds fabulous! I know the Hog’s Breath has a web cam and I would love to sit close enough to be seen on that camera by all my friends. I’ll let them know what time we’ll be there so they can check out the website! This is going to be so much fun!” Burton was always up for fun in Key West.

  “Flo, are you and Virgil free Friday night to join us?” I asked.

  “I’m almost positive we could go. We haven’t been into Key West but once since we’ve been here. I know there’s so much to do there. What time?”

  “Let’s all meet at the bar at 5:00 pm,” Joe said as he led the way to the front of the building.

  With that the whole group went out the door, and Roz and I started walking down the street. We noticed Burton talking to Flo in a very animated way.

  “Are we still having our exfoliating party tomorrow morning with Burton?” I asked.

  “Yes, he reminded me while you were bringing Flo back to our table. He said he’d be at our house around 9:00 a.m. Burton sure has taken a shine to Flo, hasn’t he?”

  “Two peas in a pod, I’d say. I’m sure he’s hoping to find out her secret for her youthful appearance and beautiful complexion. I would bet most of Rainbow is thinking the same thing.”

  Chapter 6

  Caliente Honey

  At 9:00 a.m. sharp, Burton was at our door with suitcase in hand.

  “Come in, Burton, what on earth is in that big suitcase?”

  “Everything we need to do an unguent exfoliation and bring the skin you sisters have on your faces back to life!”

  Someone knocked at our door about the time Burton got all his ointments and creams lined up on our kitchen table. When I looked out to see who was there, I was surprised to see Flo. I opened the door.

  “Come in, Flo, how are you this morning?”

  “I hope you don’t mind; Burton told me the four of you were having a facial session this morning and that sounds like something I would love to get in on.”

  “Please, come in, the more the merrier, but I have to tell you, I don’t think your skin needs any help. I think you have the most beautiful complexion I’ve seen on a woman, especially someone who is supposed to be a senior, if you don’t mind me saying,” Roz said this as she put on her glasses and edged closer to Flo.

  “Roz, I told Flo the same thing last night. I mentioned I was coming here this morning for our facial party, and when she said she might join us, I was stunned. Flo, you could te
ach us some tricks. What is your secret?” Burton began unpacking his cosmetic case.

  “It’s very simple. Virgil met a man about three years ago at one of his conventions. Virgil was a pharmaceutical rep for years, and he and this man struck up a conversation. By and by, the guy told Virgil about a miracle elixir he had stumbled upon at another convention. This guy told Virgil that if he took two tablespoons every morning with his orange juice, not only would his complexion smooth out, but his hair would get thicker and healthier, his energy levels and libido would sky rocket, and his memory would be sharper. He said the elixir was made from a combination of honey from a South American honey bee and a little red berry from a bush called the Caliente Bush. That’s why the elixir is called Caliente Honey. I’ve been taking it for about two years now and I can’t believe what it’s done for me. And Virgil is so happy with what it has done for him, he’s become a distributor.”

  “Oh my God! Sign me up! When can I see Virgil and get started on Caliente?” Burton said as he spun around.

  “He’s over there now, if you want to go talk to him about it.”

  With that, Burton packed up his suitcase and went out the door. So much for exfoliating.

  “Well, girls, I guess our facials are not going to happen this morning. I’m so sorry if I interrupted Burton, and now we’re not going to get the benefit of his exfoliating technique. Come over anytime. I’m sure Virgil would love to talk to you two about Caliente as well.” Flo looked completely pleased with herself, pecked us both on the cheek, and went out the door after Burton.

  “Thanks, Flo. I’m sure we’ll see you two soon,” Roz said.

  As Roz and I sat down at our kitchen table after the abrupt departure of Burton and Flo, we just looked at one another, and I could tell Roz was checking out my wrinkled face.

  “Roz, are you honestly considering buying some of that Caliente Honey?”

  “I don’t think so. You know, I’ve studied the holistic approach to medicine, and I would have to do some research before I started taking something that was supposed to do all Flo said it could.”

  “I wonder how much a bottle of Caliente costs?”

  “I’m going to do some research on the computer today about Caliente Honey before you and I even consider buying it.”

  “Good idea. I want to call Kathy and Kent today to let them know we’re going to be at the Hog’s Breath Friday evening so they can get online and see us. I think Kody would enjoy seeing us, too,” I said.

  “I’ll call Kendra and Krista sometime today as well so they can tell Kayla and Kendall about their grandma being on camera. You’re right; they would get a kick out of seeing us live, on the computer.”

  I have two children and Roz has two as well. I have a daughter named Kathy, who is 39 years old, and a son named Kent, who is 37 years old. Roz has a daughter named Kendra, who is 47 years old, and another daughter named Krista, who is 45 years old. Why we chose names for all four children that started with a “K” is beyond me. Throughout the years, whenever we gathered as families, and were looking for one particular child, trying to call out the correct “K” name without sputtering and spitting all four was inevitable. Then to complicate matters even further, our children married, had children, and named them all with “K” names. My son Kent has a son, 10 years old, named Kody. My daughter Kathy has a daughter, 15 years old, named Kourtney. Roz’s daughter Kendra has a daughter, 17 years old, named Kayla, and her other daughter, Krista, has a girl, 15 years old, named Kendall. Needless to say, Roz and I never call out anyone’s name when we’re all together. We only sound addled if we try.

  Roz and I spent the day contacting friends and family about our upcoming online appearance for Friday evening and watching at least five or six different residents come and go into the Hammonds’ house. It seemed as if word of Caliente Honey was spreading like wildfire.

  “Joanie, I just spent an hour on my computer trying to find out about this elixir that Virgil and Flo are so excited about, and found absolutely nothing.”

  “I think we need to cool our jets about this product for now. If it’s so wonderful, we’ll be seeing some results from all these people who are buying it, and then maybe we can decide about using it ourselves. Join me for a glass of wine to watch the sunset?”

  “You read my mind.”

  Chapter 7

  What Was In Those Smashes?

  Friday rolled around very quickly, as most days do for us. On Thursday, I had called about twenty people I knew to invite them to the first ever, “So Many Books, So Little Time” Book Club meeting for the following Wednesday evening. Since everyone I spoke to liked the name but found it too hard to remember, most people were calling it Joanie’s Book Club. Everyone seemed very excited about it. I have always been a voracious reader, so I knew I would enjoy being involved in the club. Friday morning, Roz and I went to aqua aerobics, since we’d only been one time during the week. There was a lot of talk about the honey elixir at the pool. We found out that at least twenty residents were already taking the “fountain of youth” concoction, and there did seem to be a little more vim and vigor exhibited during the aqua aerobics, not to mention constant chatter. Henri had her hands full just keeping everyone on task.

  On our walk back home, as we started up Palm Street, we saw a huge U-Haul truck sitting in front of a nice house on stilts a few doors from our house on the same side of the street. More new neighbors. It did seem like the turnover of residents in Rainbow was a constant thing, with the Snowbirders coming and going, vacationers, and sadly enough, occasionally we lose someone to natural causes.

  “Are you up to making another batch of brownies?” Roz asked.

  “Sure, let’s give the new people a day or two to settle in. Maybe we can take something over on Sunday afternoon.”

  Just as we were walking onto our carport, we saw two older women come out the front door where the U-Haul was parked. Their skin was dark as berries and their hair as white as snow. There were two young men unloading the truck and they were all four chatting and laughing and they generally seemed to be in great spirits.

  “I can’t wait to meet these new neighbors. Nothing like being friends with someone who can laugh easily and often,” I said.

  “You and I have had dear friends over the years who kept us laughing so much. I really miss that.”

  Around 4:30 pm, Roz and I were dressed and ready to go to Key West. We were waiting in the carport for Joe to pick us up. We could see Lois walking over to our house to join us.

  “Did Burton say he’d come here to meet us or is Joe picking him up on the way?” Roz asked.

  “I don’t know. Maybe he and Joe worked out those details.”

  About that time, at the far end of the street, we could see Burton coming around the corner on his bicycle. He had truly outdone himself in getting ready for his evening out. Spandex is not something I would think of a man wearing, but Burton didn’t follow fashion do’s and don’ts. From what we could see, Burton had on a short leopard skin skirt, black fishnet hose, and a bright yellow tube top. How he was peddling the bike in four inch red peek toe shoes is a mystery. Slung over his back was a leopard skin backpack that looked stuffed to the gills.

  “Hey girls! Hope I’m not late. At the last minute I decided to make up some margaritas for the road. They’re all secure in my backpack. I don’t look like too much of a hoochie mama, do I?” Burton sure had a way with words.

  Lois had not said a word. She was taking in Burton’s outfit, and you could tell she wasn’t sure what to say. We all love Burton, but sometimes his attire can make you pause for a second.

  “Burton, you’re actually early. Joe hasn’t gotten here yet,” Roz said.

  “Have you and Joanie gotten some more new neighbors?”

  “Yes, they moved in this afternoon. We don’t know anything about them yet.”

  “I saw them severa
l times this afternoon. Looks like two women that could be sisters. I think the young fellows with them actually did the heavy lifting,” Lois said.

  “Roz and I saw them very briefly this morning when we came back from the pool. We can’t wait to meet them.”

  “By the way, I saw Virgil earlier today, and he said he and Flo were going over to Marathon Key tonight and won’t be joining us.” Burton said as he put on his Foster Grants and hefted the backpack to his shoulder.

  We saw Joe’s car pull around the corner and come our way. He certainly has one of the flashiest, most comfortable cars of anyone in Rainbow. His silver 4-door Buick LeSabre slid to the curb, and Joe looked great sitting behind the wheel. When he came to a stop, he hopped out to open the doors for us. We could feel the cool air wafting from his air conditioning system as we all piled into his car. Burton sat up front, where he could pour the margaritas and pass them around while we three ladies lounged in the rear seat.

  “Don’t pour any for me, Burton. I’m the DD tonight, but you all enjoy,” Joe said as he drove out of Rainbow’s End.

  “Roz and I called our kids today to let them know we’ll be at the Hog’s Breath this evening. I actually think our grandkids will be around to see us on their computers as well.”

  “Oh my gosh! I called everyone I could think of today. I told them we’d be in the bar around 5:00 p.m. Now we just have to get that table right by the bar in front of the web cam,” Burton said.

  In about half an hour we found ourselves walking down Duvall Street, heading to the Hog’s Breath. There were a lot of people out on the streets, but not as many as during the day, when the big cruise ships dock for a few hours and disembark their passengers. Most of the ships were usually gone by 5:00 p.m. each evening.